When we started our blog for Babiology a few months ago we wanted to report on trends and life with kids. What I, Kaitlan, didn’t know when I started writing this blog is that it was preparing me to begin another blog about my son Paxton:
On April 3rd, our worlds changed and our focus shifted to Cancer and Cancer in our very own child no less. The first month was weary and seemed like so long ago and the second month was filled with the term: “new normal”. You just have to find it you know? Ummm..no I don’t know.
During the second month I assumed it meant mourning our past life and trying to figure out a new one. Cancelling summer camps, making health plans with the school nurse and in general just focusing 24/7 on Cancer. Because Cancer was our new normal, right?
During this past month, now three months in, I have realized it is taking your old life and weaving it into the new as best as possible. The best part about the weaving is that you get to pick up the threads that made you happy and realize that there is just no time for the ones that did not. In writing Paxton’s caring bridge page I realized that writing made me happy and gave me courage to express things that I could not speak about out loud in our situation. It was easy to claim this as part of the “new” part of normal, but this morning I realized I also needed to honor the “old” part of normal and weave the two together.
It is kind of like when you have a newborn baby and you let your living room be enveloped by everything baby: the changing table, the porta-crib, the swing and diapers everywhere. You do this because it is easier for a time. But then you wake up one morning and realize that you want your living room back and your brand new love bug is just going to have to settle for being woven into the house instead of consuming it.
It is o.k. to honor the blog that got my creative writing flowing, even if it veered off onto a different and un-expected path. It is o.k. to write about fashion and parenting and Cancer all at the same time. We all should be able to laugh and cry simultaneously at our own situations.
With that said, the Babiology Blog is officially back! I have missed engaging with our customers in this way and am looking forward to doing it again. On the cusp of school starting and summer in full swing we have lots to discuss so, stay tuned friends!